Everything started off fine for her. She didn't know enough to be unhappy. She'd grow up just fine, have her friends forever, be healthy and thin and successful in whatever she wanted to do. When she was younger judgment didn't seem to exist or it wasn't a big deal because she couldn't remember it holding her back. She just went about life without really thinking because only big things could mess everything up and they just didn't happen. But I guess something changed because everything became a competition, to be the best not yourself, that's what seemed to matter. She didn't want to change though, didn't want to try, why would she if her laid back lifestyle worked just fine, but there was still this nagging that told her she's get left behind if she didn't. She started to feel eyes, always judging, criticizing. Maybe they were never really there, just in her head but they seemed real, real enough to set expectations. So she found herself looking over her shoulder, imagining the eyes picking her apart. She couldn't jump in, take chances, meet new people, not while being scrutinized all the time. She started to doubt what she said, people didn't seem to care about her opinions so she withdrew into her mind, always trying so hard to think of a good response. Not just briefly though she'd really think and usually couldn't come up with anything in the end because nothing was good enough. It made her conversations forced, uncomfortable. People stopped bothering to meet her outside of school, stopped caring, forgot. She lived inside her head in her spare time, it gave her time to think, think about what she'd done wrong, what she should be doing, where she was going and she hated all the answers.
Everything started off fine for her. Too naif to be unsure, her bright future was set and nothing could ruin it because the things that could just didn't happen. Things changed, became competitions, be the best because it mattered. Laid-back worked though, why should she change? Because the nagging feeling of failure started to get at her. Eyes judging, criticizing, real or in her head they set expectations all the same. They picked her apart and she found her self paying attention, to what she did, to what she said. It's impossible to take chances when you might screw up, the worlds there to laugh at you. And if you say something pointless, something that only you find funny? She couldn't just talk, think first, was it worth saying? Uncomfortable, forced conversations don't make people like you so alone in her spare time she thought, thought about where she messed up. And she hated the answers.
It started fine. Life was easy and hopeful. But it changed because being better mattered. She felt judged for not trying and maybe it was in her head but she felt pressured to be someone important. She didn't take chances she thought, thought about what she said and did, made sure she didn't say anything dumb, do anything stupid. But it was forced, uncomfortable and people started to distance themselves, so alone in her spare time she dwelt on her mistakes, hating everyone of them.
It sums up self-doubt perfectly, just the feeling and what it can lead to, which is keeping people from fully living their lives. It has no particular situation it's just the feelings of someone figuring out their life whilst being very unsure of their purpose or what they'd like to be. It's a story that many people can relate to, to an extent because everyone's view on life changes as they age and everyone feels a little bit unsure of what they want to do with all of it.
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